The Millennium Music Conference
--------------------------------------------------Chapters 1, 2. 3, 4, 5

aka

The Truth and the Longest Blog Ever Told

O: (as told by our bassist Doug, with rude interjections by the rest of our band!.....visit Doug )

CHAPTER 1

First things first …

WWW.FINESPUNMUSIC.COM
  WWW.MYSPACE.COM/FINESPUN

There ya go Oren (O: thanks Doug!)

Planned departure time 1:30PM

I arrive at the house at 1PM…
  Ed BEGINS to pack...

  Chris starts texting...

  Oren is unusually calm and surprisingly not freaking out

1:45 PM (running a wee bit late)

Craig arrives (we told him the night before we were leaving 2 hours early; very courteous of us, don't you think?)
 
Kitty has some treats
O:yes, you can visit kitty too!

  ...We load up

This time I have my sleep meds, my pillow, and my cell phone charger; last road trip I was up all night making me look very grumpy in the photo's we got done the next day.
  Oren and Chris go with Ed in his truck and Craig and I follow in Craig's car.  I ask Craig what he knows about albatross...(O:wanna know the story we're talking about? Comment and ask us! If we get enough comments, we'll post that too!)

The Journey Begins...

We have to go thru NY, NJ and on to PA...sounds easy enough.

Oren hands us some directions to the conference that he printed off of Yahoo Maps which is well known for its accuracy and reliability. It'll be okay. We're following Ed...and Ed's got that kewl little GPS thingee.

Upon joining Finespun, I was warned by our fearless leader that I had contracted a rare disease that makes individuals perceive the state of New Jersey as the Bermuda Triangle.  No big deal...we're following Ed, and Ed's got a GPS. Unfortunately I was unaware of another disease that makes Ed think he's O.J. Simpson going south in a white Bronco (O: couldnt resist!)any time he's on the parkway.

Craig and I (in the 4-cylinder monster) try to stay behind them. It was like slalom; weaving in and out of lanes, passing other cars, going halfway into the next lane and deciding at the last minute that it wasn't a good idea.  We watched as Ed raised his I-Phone (O: yeah, no more Iphone advertising...they have enough) in the air to pretend like he's able to text and drive at the same time as the truck swerved back and forth. We surmised that the hand holding the I-Phone was the hand which would normally use to activate that little lever on the side of the steering wheel. What is that little gadget called?...oh wait...THE DIRECTIONAL!!  Not a problem; Craig has telepathic powers. He can anticipate the trucks movements.

A few hours later...

Craig and I continued to discuss albatross and the morality of cannibalism as we enjoyed the ripe odor that emanates from the Bermuda Triangle.  Upon reaching a toll booth, Speed, Spritle, and Chim Chim take off and leave Racer X and I in the dust. I get 3 text messages from Oren relaying what Ed's GPS had told them. 2 sets of directions! This should double our chance of success! I spoke to Oren on the phone and he said to me, "You want 14B...then stay to the left."  So we get off at 14B and the only way to go left is 14A. 14B leads us on to some other parkway where we had to travel 3 miles before we could turn around.  There was no doubt about it; Craig was now infected with the disease as well.  I won't bore you all with all of the details but Craig and I were basically lost in NJ and had to stop for directions twice; once in NJ and another time in PA.  We make it to PA and at this juncture I have 3 very different sets of directions. Should this not triple our chances of success? Not so much... (O: I dont know what the problem was, we took 14b and made it just fine, thank god for GPS!!!!)

We finally reach the hotel about an hour after they did and started to get ready for the show.  I looked Oren in the eye and shouted, "14A!!!!!!" Chris donned his "nuthuggers", Oren got his tea, and Craig and I were plotting our revenge against Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr.  Our original plan was to get there nice and early so we had time to eat before the show. I had a bowl of cereal at like 10am and Craig had a muffin about 2 hours later so suffice it to say we were both starving.  I checked the TV to see if it was bolted down when Chris said, "We already tried that dude." Since we were on the first floor, throwing the TV out the window wouldn't have been very fun anyhow.

On route from the hotel to the club, Ed's GPS took us about 10 minutes out of our way and I was a little disgruntled... until a miracle happened. It was as if the gates of heaven had opened, angels were singing, and the glorious light of our creator had penetrated my soul as St Peter approached me with a fresh cup of java. Yes my friends...we had found a STARBUCKS!!! (O: again, enough advertising!lol)As I enjoyed the nectar of the Gods new life rushed through me. I was ready for our most important show yet.

Behind the counter in my place of worship was a really cute blonde. Promoting for shows is a great way to meet women I thought, since the fact that I'm in a band is the only thing remotely kewl about me (Star Trek freaking rules!! (O: darn trekkies!lol)) Craig encouraged me to go for it and I did.  As I approached the counter I passed thru a tear in the space-time continuum that magically transmogrified me into Butthead. I believe my exact words were something like "uhh...huh huh...I'm like...in a band..." ...it was all downhill from there. I told her that we were from NY and here for the conference and we were playing up the road at...ummm...what's that place called? Doh! She's like, "You don't know where you're playing??" I said I think it was Java Joe's/Johnny Jones/James Earl Jones??(O:it was Johnny Joe's dammit!) I felt like such a tard and left thinking that my year of isolation has turned me into the spaz around women that I was when I was 13. Craig told me not to worry about it and I didn't. I was too excited about the show to really care; I'll do better next time...

Enjoyed this blog? 4 more chapters coming soon, watch the bulletins....! Not our friend yet? Shame on you! Add us up!

Enjoyed this blog? more chapters coming soon, watch the bulletins....! Not our friend yet? Shame on you! Add us up!